Love Bombing: The Red Flag That Looks Like Romance
Love bombing is a big old fashioned red flag but it may look like it is just a grand gesture of romance.
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is when that new person in your life does some crazy stuff to show their affection for you. In general, a love bomb might not be a big deal if it were later in a relationship but often times men love bomb too early and it creeps women out.
Love Bombing: Hollywood Has Screwed Us All Up
We've seen it for years in the movies, these grand gestures of love that get the woman back or make her fall of the guy. For example the classic, man standing in the rain with a boombox over his head, pathetically begging the women to come back to him and her seeing it as such a sweet gesture that she comes running outside and embraces him in a passionate kiss and they now live happily ever after but frankly this is complete and utter bull shit.
What happens in real life is the woman, who might even think she wants this type of romantic gesture to be done, loses all respect for the man. He looks pathetic. He clearly has no other options and because he has no other options he loses all attraction.
Sometimes in situations with love bombs the guy creeps the girl out so badly that she calls the police and he ends up in jail for stalking her!
So this is a warning, do not love bomb women.
It does nat make you a more attractive man in her eyes any way, in fact it makes you look pathetic and women are not attracted to pathetic men!
What To Do Instead Of Love Bombing
So if you are not supposed to love bomb women, what the heck should you do?
Instead of making grand gestures and proclamations of love instead chill the f*ck out.
Women like men who give them a roller coaster of emotions but are not emotional themselves.
Adopting a non-reactive, stoic approach is what makes a man attractive.
There are some basics of attraction including building rapport, making her laugh and turning her on that are much better approaches. In fact, I do not believe a man should ever tell a woman his emotions for her until she has already told him her emotions.
So if she says I love you, then and only then should you let her know that you love her.
If you tell her too early it could freak her out and she will run away. Women will make it very clear when they are attracted to you and that you should tell her your feelings. Do not be in a rush to tell women you love them, even if it is the case.
If a woman has decided to leave you or seperate from you, never,ever, ever chase her.
If you chase her during this phase it will ruin the chances of her coming back. IT is likely that she needs some space away from you and by chasing you invade her space that she needs to remember why she wanted to be with you in the first place.
What You Should Be Doing To Make Sure She Comes Back
When a woman loses attraction instead of chasing her and love bombing her, instead give her some space. This may be hard at first but it is vital to the attraction that you give her the space she needs.
In the mean time, move on.
Focus on your own life. Make it better. Work hard to improve your life and make sure you keep the communication channels open. If she writes you during this time tell her it is great to hear from her but do not ask her out on a date again. I would start the whole process over from the beginning.
You could tell her that you have done a lot of thinking and have decided to up-level your life and that is what you are focused on now.
If she wants to talk about your relationship and where it is going then it is totally fine to have the conversation, if you can actually sit down with her and listen from a space of empathy. Defending yourself at this point, no matter how right you think you are will once again kill the attraction and potentially the relationship, forever.
This takes patience. It takes courage. It takes strength to not reach out and trust that she will.
If she doesn't reach out then start dating new women immediately, while you improve your life. This will help replace the brain chemicals that are causing the pain you are feeling.
Speaking of brain chemicals, my mentor, Adam Lyons just released a brand new program that teaches how to trigger oxytocin in women. Oxytocin is love and by triggering it early on after meeting someone you can quickly build a bond.
I don't know if this is for you or not but I highly recommend check his new program out here: https://www.benjaminnewcomb.com/instant-chemistry-formula